Ventura, California

Wow, I have been back in Ventura for over four years.  It was four years on May 1st of this year (2012). Not only that, but unofficially in August and offically in November I will have lived at the same address for four years.  I honestly have a hard time remebering when either of those things was last true.  I am glad to be back in Ventura.  I was I had come back to stay long before I did.  I kept thinking that when things were not going well if I moved it would be better.  And it usually was, for a minute  But then I found that all the same problems were still there, just in a different physicaly location.  The saddest part is that I am a pretty smart person.  Good grades, good at figure things out.  It was just this one thing that it took me awhile at.
So now I am back.  Going to school and hoping to get my teeth fixed by the end of the year.  But every once in a while, I get that urge.  The urge to go go go!!!  But I have finally figured out, it is not the urge to move and start over.  I actually want to go places.  Last year I saw the grand canyon for the first time.  That was so awesome,  but there is so much more that I want to see.  I definately want to see the Vietnam Memorial in Washington D.C.  I want to go back to Pennsylvania and visit the realatives that I met so long ago.  I want to go to as many of the National Parks as I can. 
I worry though that because I wasted literally 15 years of my life, do I have enough time left.  Ik now I am going to try.  And I know that when I get that urge to disapear into the night, it is not the right thing to do.  I need to plan and that is something I have never been good at, but I am getting better.  So I write in this silly little blog that I doubt anyone ever reads.  And that is okay. 
I will go places and I will learn not to be afraid that I am running out of time.  So for the next 18 months I am concentrating on school, teeth, and job, in that order.  I still have plenty of time left to see what I want to see of the world.  Don't ever give up is what I guess I am trying to tell myself.  But also to anyone who does read this, don't waste all those years.  Tomorrow will come, but with each day that you wait to do what is good and what is right, that leaves that much less time to enjoy it. 
I wish I could go back 20 years and go back to school when I started college then, but I can't.  So I am going to work my butt off and make up for the time I wasted.  Do waste time.  Get started today on your future.